Sunday, August 9, 2009
An infinite number of things run through my head before stepping on stage. Things like, me wondering what pieces to perform or what piece to start off with. I check the tone of the room and wonder how will I be received... The list goes on. If I don't feel like performing, I don't. It's a rule I hope I never have to break. Going into Cincinnati this past week it had been over a month since my last performance. I had not held a microphone or even thought of putting on any type of show prior to. I didn't want to get back on stage until I felt I was ready.
During my "layoff," I got a chance relax and do some writing, thinking about the tone of my work and where I want to take it. After thinking about it all, I felt recharged. I was ready to be the spark on stage someone may need to see in order to make their evening or week go by a little bit smoother.
Upon showing up at the MIXX on Thursday, everything about the show felt different. I had to perform on a different stage then past acts. The microphone stand was "missing" and my performance time was earlier than normal. This time when I took the stage I didn't have a thought in my mind other than, "I'm going to be holding the mic my whole set, this sucks!" It didn't! The energy I felt on stage was amazing! I have never felt so good performing and moving around with the mic in my hand. Plenty of times I've had shows where I felt like every word fell from my lips with perfection, but THIS, this was nothing like before.
I almost felt as if I was putting on a show for myself. Like, God was reminding me that HE blessed me with this gift to be a blessing to others. It was as if HE wanted to show ME how HE gets down! The rush was great! I didn't even feel that my FIRST time on stage! OR my first time in front of THOUSANDS of people! I feel hungry all over again. Not my normally determined and strong willed self, but HUNGRY, like I have something to prove not just to myself, but to everyone who has supported me from day one.
This is the recharge, and is only the beginning...